Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Literackie kwiatki

“To keep the drowsy corrector awake...”

"Teach & D-Lite" campaign continued...

Some of the most eye-(s)c(r)atching answers1 from the semester test.


Shakespeare and his Midsummer Night's Dream suffered the following abuses:

  • Shekspiere [a la French fashion]

  • Sheaksper

  • Sheakspaire [probably to rhyme it with “despair”]

  • Mit dream summer night

  • Misdemenour Dream

  • Ordon [instead of Oberon]

  • Bolkan [which, I presume, was meant to be Bottom]

  • dunkey [instead of ass, or donkey]


Metaphysical poets could have written the following (if they'd been metaphysical enough):

  • A Valeditation Mourning”

  • Vestitation Mourning” [I'm guessing that both of these refer to John Donne's “Valediction: Forbidding Mourning”]

  • G. Hubert [i.e. George Herbert]

  • The Goy of His Mistress” [most likely referring to Andrew Marvell's “To His Coy Mistress”]


Apparently, in Paradise Lost (Book IV) Satan turns himself into a heaven, but another student claims that in fact Satan turns himself into a Satan (a neat trick, don't you think?).


Alexander Pope should have considered writing “Rape of the Look”, but instead he was busy creating “Nature methodolized”. By the same token Swift should have been more careful in writing his titles -- “A Modern Proposal” was some student's modest proposal.


Talking of proposals and propositions – Pamela (Richardson's epistolary novel, not the "silly-cone" starlet) ends in a Hollywood-like fashion, that is the protagonists get merried, or rather Squire B. marriages Pamela.


Finally, a quote from a test question:

Their heads and breasts were covered with a thick hair, some frizzled, and others lank; they had beards like goats, and a long ridge of hair down their backs, and the fore parts of their legs and feet; but the rest of their bodies was bare, so that I might see their skins, which were of a brown buff colour.

The question was as follows: --> Who is being described here?

Some answers: Liliputs, Lillyputes, magic horses which were founded by Gulliver, Adam and Eve, Dinosaures, Titana and Oberon, Tezeus and Hypolita, Hermia, cavaliers, John Donne, Pamela.

An interesting composite picture, isn't it?



1Original spelling of the answers has been preserved.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Literature test sic! answers

Some of the Anglo-Saxon literature test answers invariably brought about quite frequent moments of amusement, or even jaw-dropping surprise. Here's a sample.

1. The name of the first English historian, the Venerable Bede, yielded the following sic! alternatives: Bede de Venerable, Beve, J. Bede, Venerable Ben, the Vunerable Bede, Venerable Bene, Venerable Babe (!), Winarable Bed [somebody must have had a great need to sleep].
2. Hrothgar, the king of Danes who couldn't come to terms with Grendel, might be surprised if someone addressed him in the following manner: Heorothod, Hurirgat, Horthot, Hrothal, Hotghart, Hoerod.
3. The English word "consonants" proved problematic for a handful of people. Here are the most inventive attempts: unvowels, componants, conounts, constonances, contanents.
4. The word "metaphor" was slightly easier, though not without its own interesting possibilities: methafor, methafory.
5. Finally, we know remarkably little about the Anglo-Saxon sex-life, but according to a student they merit the name "Anglo-Sexons". Interesting...

The medieval literature test wasn't as eventful as the Old English one. The word "peace" found its sic! variant spelling *pice* (well, the more frequent mistake was "piece", but that's pretty *dysorydżinal*); a branch of holly that the Green Knight was holding in his hand miraculously turned into *a bunch of holy* and then into *a brunch of holly*; the word "fellowship" was supplanted by *failoship*; "unfaithful" became *unfairful*; "helmet" was turned into *hamlet*; the Tabard Inn was changed into *Tabor* and its owner *appears to be* a certain Thomas Becket (sic!); Queen Guinevere was re-christened into *Ginerva* (or, alternatively, *Quinevre*); The Canterbury Tales became *Canterbury Teles*and finally, Geoffrey Chaucer's name was creatively changed into *Choser*. Oh well, nothing can be perfect...

My advice: be aware of the potentials of irregular spelling, but refrain from experimentation in tests and colloquia ;)